What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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