just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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