Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
