look no pants
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
