I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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