WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
