I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
