just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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