That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
