I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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