I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
