butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
