i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
