Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
