Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
