Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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