I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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