He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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