in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
