And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
