Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You took a bar mat shot.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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