I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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