my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
