I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
