Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
