Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
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don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
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No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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