Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
