We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She told me I should be a condom model.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
