Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.

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(858): View more from California

you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.

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(510): View more from California

well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?

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(507): View more from Minnesota

He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.

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(678): View more from Georgia

Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.

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