Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
