Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
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