Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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