wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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