did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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