i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
