he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
