naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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