Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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