I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
