His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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