I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
this is an emotional support booty call
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
