Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
