I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
FUCK WHALES
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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