atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
