she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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