She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
