Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
