Pappa wants mamma naked
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize