put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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