Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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