I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
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I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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