Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
