I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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