i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize