You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
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you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
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Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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