So drunk its hurt
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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