My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
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New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
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We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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