just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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