last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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