I feel like I'm in dance class right now
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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